Jacob's Story:

The absolute worst has just happened to me. Last week, I was arrested and accused of raping a girl in mid-December, which I absolutely and wholeheartedly denied. I was let out the on bail same afternoon.

The girl and I had known each other for approximately nine months; I’m a regular in a bar which she manages. Over this period of time, we got to know each other very well and she made it known to many of her colleagues (whom I also knew well), that she found me attractive and wanted to go out with me. Like most men would be, I was flattered, but concerned. Given her job managing a bar, did this happened quite often? Eventually, though, I was handed her number by her friend/colleague and was quite happy to accept it.

Almost immediately a ‘text’ relationship ensued. This fact will become important later on in my account. She often invited me to her bar to drink and have a laugh. Sometimes she would be working, sometimes not. On most occasions, I wouldn’t even have to pay for the drinks. She even offered free food some nights. She would have these gifts sent to me or hand them to herself if she wasn't busy.

After about 3 months, we had a night where the two of us and one of her friends got drunk in her bar after hours. A small amount of drugs were consumed and we eventually ended up coming back to my flat where she slept in the same bed as me (nothing happened). Her friend/colleague slept on the sofa. The next day, we all woke up feeling slightly worse for wear, but laughed about the wild night. Her colleague then left for work, leaving the girl at my flat. Eventually she also left to go home.

This exact same set of events later happened on two other occasions, minus the drugs. Both times, she stayed at my flat or I stayed at hers. Both of us were quite happy and comfortable with this arrangement, and it didn’t involve sex, although we did kiss.

During one particular evening, I was at home, and she was drinking at hers flat. We’d been texting throughout the day. To cut a long story short, we arranged that she would come over wearing boots and a short skirt. I have a particular attraction to that look. At about 10:00PM, she jumped in a cab and drove to my flat. At the end of the night, we went to bed together. Again, no sexual contact was made.

Also, one particular week, I was invited over to her flat. She cooked dinner and no alcoholic drinks were served this time. That evening, I slept over. Again, no sexual contact was made.

As I said, I would often go to her bar and drink and chat with her and her colleagues quite amicably. She also had an ex-boyfriend who would also visit the bar. This was always disconcerting, as he took an instant dislike to me. He did know about me, I believe. And constantly, over this time, we’d flirt over text if I hadn’t seen her.

As you can gather, by now we had built up a liking and understanding of each other. During the week leading up to the alleged rape, she was quite emotional; work was proving difficult, she’d been suspended after walking out, but she started in a new bar as a result of the complications. I was also aware that towards the end of November, she got drunk with her work colleagues and ended up having sex with them. Whether this pertains to my case is unclear, but I don't think this accusation would stand in court for anything, I don’t think. This sexual encounter ended up with her having to take the morning after pill. She also asked her colleague to keep it a secret from the rest of her team.

On the night of the alleged rape (sorry, I still can’t come to terms with the word), we’d both been out to separate events - I had been drinking, but not heavily, and she also had been out drinking, but I don’t know how much. We met up in the early hours, kissed, and got in a cab back to her flat. In the days beforehand, we had discussed the possibility of her wearing a schoolgirl’s uniform (which she said she had). I was quite turned on by the proposition, as you’d expect. On arriving at her flat, we got a soft drink and went into her room, where we continued kissing. Eventually, she undressed. I asked her to find the uniform. Unfortunately, she could find it, but put on a black negligee instead, which was equally as appealing. We began kissing again. On the bed. And after several minutes, I asked her to wear her boots as well, which she was quite happy to do.

One thing led to another, and we had quite physical, consensual sex . I’m worried that some markings may have occurred, but it was consensual. Here's the thing: she claims it wasn’t consensual; and has even included other untrue claims.

The next morning, she got up early to go to work. She said that I could stay in her bed for as long as I’d like. I remained there until mid-day. During the morning, I had sent her texts of other sexual things I’d like to do, which were explicit but did not amount to any sort of ‘rape’.

I then got texts from her later that day, quite normal texts. But, then, apparently (and unbeknownst to me), she filed allegations of rape two days later. Why? I don’t know. It was consensual. We left each other on good terms. There weren’t any witnesses.

Also, as I hadn’t heard form her in a week, I again text/called to check whether she was ok. I did get a couple of responses, but nothing of any significance. Then, the next thing I know, I was arrested last week.

Now, all this I told to the police and I was open and honest. I feel incredibly afraid, sad, confused, and on the verge of being suicidal. I still haven’t been able to bring myself to cry, as I just don’t understand it. I have never been in trouble before, or accused of anything like this.

I’ve been to see a counselor, and I have arranged for another session. The thing is, I still haven’t told my family, friends, or co-workers. I’m building up the courage to do so as I write this letter.

I’m due to appear back at the police station in a few months. Although it’s only been a matter of days, this whole episode is tearing me apart. I can’t sleep, eat, or think of anything else. I really don’t know what to expect.